CHESAPEAKE, Va. — An unimaginable and tragic loss in 8-year-old Kayla Arestivo's life ultimately shaped her future and her life's purpose.
Losing her father in the 9/11 attack on the World Trade Center and the frustration and hurt she overcame help Kayla relate to and fully appreciate the suffering many servicemen and women experience stemming from their involvement in the war on terrorism.
She and her husband Kyle felt called to provide mental health counseling and services for our military on active duty, active duty families, and veterans with Trails of Purpose, a nonprofit organization based in Chesapeake.
"The moment anybody turns the pain into purpose, you've recycled it," Arestivo explained. "You've turned it into something good. You're not the victim anymore. You own that thing. And now I am going to leverage it for my own good and to help other people."
She continued: "My husband is in the Navy; I am a mental health professional. We saw some gaps and systemic needs. So we figured let's take the stigma away, let's take the barriers away. And why don't we just make it mental health care to support people when they need it and how they need it?"
In addition to more traditional individual psychotherapy, and family and marriage counseling, Trails of Purpose provides equine-assisted psychotherapy, and the horses do an amazing job of helping clients get to the heart of the matter.
"A horse is a living being, and so you need to learn to relate and build a relationship in live-time, in session," Arestivo said. "We bring the horse in, and now I can say practice that with the horse. I as the clinician can watch you try to actually have those communications, and work through the barriers live time in the session."
Horses are prey animals, and they want nothing to do with threats. So if a client is threatening in any way, the horses want to walk away.
Kayla explained the equine therapy process: "If somebody goes 'I don't know why I am having communication issues, it's got to be everyone else in my life'. I watched them get frustrated with the horse maybe after 2 minutes. People say the horse is a mirror in a lot of ways. I don't know that they are a mirror, as much as maybe a microscope because they really pick up on all the little defects that we have inside."
Sometimes, active duty service members who have come back from deployment find peace and their own purpose by simply volunteering, and helping work on the ranch. Trails of Purpose provides help and protects client privacy.
"We don't accept Tri-Care, we keep things 100% confidential with no paper trail," Arestivo said. "Nobody has ever paid a dime for services out here, so we keep everything 100% sponsored as well. I tell everyone there is no reason you shouldn't show up for therapy."
To help more military members get the mental health support they need, 13News Now and our partners from Westshore Homes were happy to donate to their mission.
"When people are donating and partnering with us, their money is going to service members' mental health care, they are sponsoring it," Arestivo said. "And in doing so, helping so many who have given so much for our country."
You can donate and find information about Trails of Purpose's services, merch, and events on their site.