VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Denise Smallwood has always felt like Joshua Hardy's protector. Not just because they were twins, but because Denise would never let him forget she was born five minutes before him.
"It was like I was his protector," Smallwood said. "I hated seeing him get hurt. I don’t care if it was the smallest thing, even a scratch."
So every year when the calendar turns to May 31, certain memories have become harder to relive.
“When you lose someone unexpectedly like that you think of everything. Everything flashes before you, the beginning and the middle and the end. I can recall that day just like it happened today," she says.
Friday marked five years since the 2019 Virginia Beach Municipal Center mass shooting, where a gunman shot and killed 12 people. 2024 marked the year since then that May 31 fell on a Friday just as it did in 2019, evoking even greater emotional connections to an already heavy day for families like Smallwood.
The victims had 150 years of combined service with the city:
- Laquita C. Brown of Chesapeake: A right-of-way agent with more than four years in public works.
- Tara Welch Gallagher of Virginia Beach: An engineer with six years in public works.
- Mary Louise Gayle of Virginia Beach: A right-of-way agent with 24 years in public works.
- Alexander Mikhail Gusev of Virginia Beach: A right-of-way agent with nine years in public works.
- Katherine A. Nixon of Virginia Beach: An engineer with 10 years in public utilities.
- Richard H. Nettleton of Norfolk: An engineer with 28 years in public utilities.
- Christopher Kelly Rapp of Powhatan: An engineer with 11 months in public works.
- Ryan Keith Cox of Virginia Beach: An account clerk with more than 12 years in public utilities.
- Joshua A. Hardy of Virginia Beach: An engineering technician with more than four years in public utilities.
- Michelle "Missy" Langer of Virginia Beach: An administrative assistant with 12 years in public utilities.
- Robert "Bobby" Williams of Chesapeake: Special projects coordinator with 41 years in public utilities.
- Herbert "Bert" Snelling of Virginia Beach: A contractor who was there to fill a permit.
"You think you have all this time left and you feel like it’s been stolen from you. Taken, that time just doesn’t exist anymore, and there is nothing you can do about it," Smallwood said.
Missy Langer's sister Debbie Borato shared similar sentiments, writing in a post online:
"I still feel what I felt that day, Friday, May 31st, 2019. Today is as clear as 5 yrs ago. This disruption in our lives is the same today."
"People talk about closure, there is no closure"
Smallwood decided not to attend the official city ceremony held at the future site of the mass shooting memorial. She tells 13News Now in the aftermath of the tragedy, she's been unsatisfied with the support from the City of Virginia Beach, as well as finding that various independent reports about the incident did not provide a sense of closure and answers to the questions she had what led up to the shooting.
"I think they think every year doing this memorial type thing, it makes them feel good. They feel like they’ve done their part," she says.
Recently, several 5/31 victim families have spoken out in frustration, feeling unsupported and by city leadership. In 2023, they petitioned state lawmakers for a $40 million budget addition, intended for use by both the victim's families and the survivors from Building 2. While a Virginia Mass Violence Care Fund has recently been added to the budget, the funding request was intended to mirror the pay structure that Virginia Tech families had access to in the aftermath of the 2007 mass shooting.
"I think we are [the families and the city] trying to mend fences, trying to work together on things, things that are common sense," Jason Nixon said, who lost his wife Katherine Nixon in the shooting.
Fatherhood is not a job Jason ever thought he would tackle by himself, but five years after the tragedy, he is learning to live without his wife's presence for significant life moments.
“Not everyday is the best day. We have good days and bad days, I could probably be a lot more stricter on them, that’s probably what Kate would want me to do. But sometimes I feel bad that Kate is not there so I give in. That’s my fault, but it’s something I'm working with and trying to figure out to this day," he says.
"My daughter is graduating high school, so she's not going to have her mom there. Going to college, not having her mom there. Things Kate should be there for, and my other daughter is going through life changes and mom isn’t there to help," he says.
A letter sent by "Virginia Beach 5/31 Families United", which includes the legal counsel of former Lt. Gov Justin Fairfax, requests a city council vote to "authorize the City to engage in a non-binding formal mediation process with representatives from Virginia Beach 5/31 Families United."
The goal is to discuss:
- Sustained access to mental health services
- Implementation of recommendations
- Protocols for survivor outreach
- Financial support for families and surviving employees
While some families like Nixon are looking forward to the completion of the mass shooting memorial next to the municipal center, Smallwood still won't find closure.
“Not really, not unless it materializes Joshua Hardy standing up there and me taking him by the arm and saying 'Let's go home brother.' No it doesn’t matter," she says.